Needles and Pins

So yesterday my sweet nurse (I'll call her "J") sticks her needle in my vein to get me ready for my Zometa infusion and I watch as she wriggles it around, a perplexed look on her face, trying to get it to offer up my blood. When it doesn't work, she inserts another needle right next to it ("Don't worry!" she chirps, "I'll take the first one out when I'm done!"), beaming when this one takes and working to stem the slight flow of blood that slowly oozes from the first. I tease her about the mess she is making on my arm, advising that this is a blog-worthy incident and assuring her that all names will be changed to protect the innocent. "J" is unfazed, says she just wants to know when the book comes out so she can read all about it.

As I am infused, I receive an unexpected visitor - my new oncologist. I had an appointment to see him on February 10th, but he came looking for me anyhow. Point in his favor. We started to chat about my case and it was clear he had read the file as he had knowledge of many of the details. Another point in his favor - usually I have to relate the whole sordid tale from its start 16 years ago all the way to the present. I'm starting to like this guy! (Actually, "J" had told me she thought I would.) He looks me in the eye. He listens to me. He accommodates my request to have my follow-up scans done in March instead of February since I continue to be asymptomatic physically and the tumor load is so small. He agrees that I don't have to come back on the 10th unless I think I need to (I don't). I warn him that I've been through 6 oncologists in 6 years and that I expect him to stick around awhile. He nervously agrees.

Most importantly, he put my mind at ease about the side effects I've been experiencing from the Aromasin. Over the past several weeks, what started as mild tingling in my fingertips has developed into major tingling, numbness, and joint pain in my hands and on up to my elbows (on occasion), affecting my ability to sleep through the night, engage in fine motor skills (buttons, arrrgghhhh!), and achieve arm balances in yoga. It actually becomes quite painful at times, not to mention frustrating when I have to stop what I'm doing (blowdrying my hair, signing documents, putting on jewelry, cooking - alright in fairness I don't cook much but wow, hands are like totally important!), wait for the pins and needles to subside and sensation to return before resuming whatever activity I was engaged in. I don't mind making adjustments (I've had to do so much as a result of surgeries and medications over the years) but I was worried that I was doing permanent damage to my nerves.

Reassured by my oncologist that I am not, that this side effect, while uncomfortable, is not dangerous, I resolve to just suck it up, make the changes I need to to deal with it, and recognize that after awhile whatever adjustments I've made will become second nature, just like the other ones have - chewing on one side of my mouth, covering (as best I can) the bald spot on the back of my head, checking for stray drool/food on the part of my chin I can't feel, Spinning instead of running. Still...those damn buttons! Arrrgghhhh!

A quick shout out to some folks that I reconnected with this past weekend. Guys, after 30 years I was a little nervous about seeing you all after so much time had passed, but it took you mere seconds to make me feel loved and welcome again. Your friendship meant a great deal to me back then and now I know why - you are just plain terrific people (who, by the way, are still able to make me laugh long and loudly). Here's to Dave, Joanne, Tricia, Barry, Chris ("Ned"), Kevin and Eric. The memories - old and new - are priceless.

Please say prayers for Fred's speedy recovery everyone and...

Blessings and Love to All.