Each morning my commute takes me north along the Cross Island Parkway from the Long Island Expressway to the Throgs Neck Bridge. There is a bike path that runs alongside the eastern side of the parkway; an inlet off Long Island Sound is on the other side of the bike path. I've been traveling this route for over fourteen years and have witnessed countless walkers, joggers, bikers, and roller-bladers in that time. I've even roller-bladed there myself a time or two (yes, many years ago). I've never been more than a casual observer (too busy watching out for the drivers who just can't see my invisible truck), but one day several months ago I began noticing a man and woman walking that path every day in the early morning.
I think I first began to routinely notice their presence because they dressed in matching outfits. Their coordinated attire was simple - usually they had on black sweatpants and tee-shirts of the same color (red, orange, blue - they switched it up each day). But it caught my eye. I began to look for them - companionably strolling at a brisk pace, keeping pace with each other, even venturing out in inclement weather. I couldn't really tell you what they look like except that they are short and Asian - I typically drive by too quickly to get a good look. But I can pick them out among the other runners and ramblers populating the path. I imagine them as a husband and wife, kids grown and out of the house, having worked hard and retired and now enjoying each other's company in a way they haven't been able to previously. I see them and I wonder if I will live long enough to have the luxury of a long stroll with my own husband.
And now, I find myself actually looking for them as I transport myself to my job. I eagerly scan the bike path, looking for those matching shirts (or jackets or pants), one eye on the car in front of me and one eye on the trail. I am unexpectedly tickled when I spy them; indeed, recently I have been offering a greeting (albeit one that is only heard by me) as soon as I spot them - a cheery "Hi Guys!" For reasons I cannot fathom, seeing them makes me look forward to starting my work day.
They don't know it, but they make me smile every day. Their routine has become part of my routine. They help me appreciate today as well as look forward to the good things to come tomorrow. Hopefully, in some way, we all do the same for somebody else unknown to us.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Man! I Feel Like A Woman!
It's Super Tuesday and if I hear one more time Hillary Clinton referred to as "Hillary" while Barack Obama is referred to as "Obama" my head may explode. Trust me, I am not going to get "confused" and think that Bill is running for President so I wish the media would either refer to her as Clinton...or refer to Obama as Barack (I'm not picky, either choice would be more respectful that what is currently offered up).
My stepson, who is 16 and seems particularly interested in this election, perhaps because his older sister can vote this year, asked me who I was going to vote for. Normally, I don't share this with the kids in an effort to make any household political discussions be about issues vs. personalities, and also so I can offer up alternative points of view to stimulate their thought processes (easier to do if they don't know who I voted for or will vote for). But the last time he asked, I said "Clinton." He wanted to know why, so I told him because I am in favor of supporting a woman for President. He became indignant (as only 16 year old boys can do), huffing and puffing that I should only support the BEST candidate for the job, not base my selection on gender. I agreed, but noted that should the candidates be fairly equal in my view (and they are) I would absolutely choose a woman in order to advance the cause of what some call feminism, but which I like to call equalism, or sometimes humanism.
Thus was borne a "teaching moment." I reminded him that for 225+ years Americans deliberately and consciously chose male Presidents and believed that this was how our government ought to be. That even today, many Americans will NOT vote for Clinton and their decision will be based solely on her gender, whether they admit it or not. That while I'm not comfortable with the "it's our turn" rhetoric (that is not a good reason to choose a woman President), I am comfortable noting that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Let's not elect another man for President and expect a sea change in our country. After all, so much of what I read seems to indicate we Americans want some changes - and I don't think we're insane (well, most days I don't think so...but that's a post for a different time).
I'm sure I didn't change his mind - but as long as I get him to think, I am hopeful that I am raising a son who will be a humanist in the long run. He is nothing if not open-minded. Last year, his stepsister (my daughter) was making preparations for a small sweet 16 dinner with family and friends, about 35 of us. It was not lost upon my son that this was going to cost some money, and knowing that boys don't typically have these kinds of parties, confidently asked if he could "have the cash" in lieu of a big birthday bash.
His dad and I laughingly declined, and he challenged us: "Well, what do I get if she gets this big, expensive party?" I told him this: "You have the privilege of earning $1.00 for every $.79 that your sister will earn throughout your lives. I'm sure that will more than make up for that which you believe you lack right now." As a math whiz, he quite quickly calculated the benefit - and conceded the point.
My stepson, who is 16 and seems particularly interested in this election, perhaps because his older sister can vote this year, asked me who I was going to vote for. Normally, I don't share this with the kids in an effort to make any household political discussions be about issues vs. personalities, and also so I can offer up alternative points of view to stimulate their thought processes (easier to do if they don't know who I voted for or will vote for). But the last time he asked, I said "Clinton." He wanted to know why, so I told him because I am in favor of supporting a woman for President. He became indignant (as only 16 year old boys can do), huffing and puffing that I should only support the BEST candidate for the job, not base my selection on gender. I agreed, but noted that should the candidates be fairly equal in my view (and they are) I would absolutely choose a woman in order to advance the cause of what some call feminism, but which I like to call equalism, or sometimes humanism.
Thus was borne a "teaching moment." I reminded him that for 225+ years Americans deliberately and consciously chose male Presidents and believed that this was how our government ought to be. That even today, many Americans will NOT vote for Clinton and their decision will be based solely on her gender, whether they admit it or not. That while I'm not comfortable with the "it's our turn" rhetoric (that is not a good reason to choose a woman President), I am comfortable noting that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Let's not elect another man for President and expect a sea change in our country. After all, so much of what I read seems to indicate we Americans want some changes - and I don't think we're insane (well, most days I don't think so...but that's a post for a different time).
I'm sure I didn't change his mind - but as long as I get him to think, I am hopeful that I am raising a son who will be a humanist in the long run. He is nothing if not open-minded. Last year, his stepsister (my daughter) was making preparations for a small sweet 16 dinner with family and friends, about 35 of us. It was not lost upon my son that this was going to cost some money, and knowing that boys don't typically have these kinds of parties, confidently asked if he could "have the cash" in lieu of a big birthday bash.
His dad and I laughingly declined, and he challenged us: "Well, what do I get if she gets this big, expensive party?" I told him this: "You have the privilege of earning $1.00 for every $.79 that your sister will earn throughout your lives. I'm sure that will more than make up for that which you believe you lack right now." As a math whiz, he quite quickly calculated the benefit - and conceded the point.
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