Movin' Out/Movin' On

A visit to the onc today - routine (although...are they ever really routine?).  Got my infusion of Zometa and discussed my chemo regimen - we are reducing the dosage a little bit in order to improve the hand and foot syndrome side effects.  Also talked about the fact that folate/folic acid can increase the toxicity of the Xeloda and therefore should be ingested in moderation so...not as much pasta and rice in the old diet (hey as long as I can still have my McDonald's chicken nuggets I'm OK).  Most interestingly - the first question he asked was about how the job search was going (more on that later in this post).  How refreshing to have an onc that doesn't immediately see me with a big "C" on my head (or worse, ONLY sees me with a big "C" on my head).

I do find it just a little bit amazing (and, truth be told, a little disconcerting) to realize that I have spent the past year on chemotherapy.  On the one hand, I am grateful for the obvious benefits; on the other hand, I can't help but wonder what wild and woolly effects it is having on all the healthy tissue in my body, especially since I've been through the whole chemo thing 3 other times during the course of this disease.  Can all this poison REALLY be good for my heart?  My brain?  My liver?  Will I be one of those who succumbs to "complications from cancer treatment" rather than the cancer itself?  And can you tell by these crazy thoughts that, yes, I am in the middle of one of my "two-weeks-on" courses of the drug right now?  Ah, the bliss of "off weeks" when I return to my normal, positive thinking!

Back to real life.  It has been a month of turmoil, upheaval, instability and drastic change (and that's just the Giants and Jets).  Seriously though, the company that I worked for for 27 years finally called it a day on October 4th, when all of the remaining employees, including myself, were severed.  A day later I was in Chicago on a job interview with BP, for a position on Long Island.  A week later, I was driving cross-country with one of my best friends, Patti, moving her from New York back to her home state of Indiana after she, too, was let go by our company.  Two weeks later I was working on a contract basis for the start-up the former owners of my company created - at half my salary and no benefits.  Three weeks later I had a job offer from BP at 60% of my former salary (but with excellent benefits).  A month later we were in the dark, as a result of Hurricane Sandy.

The loss of my job was difficult, but not nearly as difficult as understanding how much more Patti lost.  Her Dad died a mere 10 days before the company let us go (with no severance and no COBRA by the way, although COBRA is now being offered).  She lost him, she lost her job, she lost her health insurance, she lost her home (by moving back to Indiana) and she lost her friends from New York (who she will only get to see sporadically now).  And while she did gain much (so much family in and around her hometown, not to mention tailgate parties in South Bend), it was truly heartbreaking to see her pain and anguish over all that she left behind.  After spending most of the first day unpacking, organizing and setting up the home she had planned to share with her Dad, but will now live in alone, we got to share one perfect day together before I left to go back to New York, visiting her beloved Notre Dame campus - we took photos of "Touchdown Jesus" outside the football stadium, we said a prayer in the basilica, we lunched in the Legends restaurant, and we marveled at the beauty of the campus.  OK, we also spent an hour in the bookstore buying Fighting Irish regalia but c'mon when do I ever go anyplace without shopping?  I have missed her every day since I left.

I will be starting at BP on December 3rd, in the position of Regional Account Executive, working with the business owners of 40-50 service stations in Nassau County.  While it is not a job at the level I was at with Getty, it IS a job that holds appeal for me as I will have the opportunity to work with what appears to be a very skilled team as well as for a company that has broad interests and well-developed systems.  I've had a very positive experience during the whole interview and pre-employment processes and so my expectation is that I will continue to have the same as an employee.  While it is true that, given my personal situation,  I would have preferred not to work at all, in reality that is not an option for me - gotta pay the bills right?  And - bonus! - the occasional foray out to the corporate offices in Chicago may well afford me the opportunity to see Patti more often than might otherwise be the case.  One can only hope!

The hurricane (or "superstorm" as some are wont to call it) did not wreak as much havoc on our household as on so many others.  Out of power for six days, we managed to keep it together during that time with heat, hot water and refrigeration courtesy of our generator.  We did lose a major branch from my favorite tree - but fortunately it did not hit the house, the cars, or any persons foolish enough to be out in the storm.  We pray, with all of you, that all who continue to be affected are soon able to get back to their daily lives with needed food, clothing, shelter, and transportation. 

We have seen such generosity in friends and neighbors towards those devastated by Sandy, such an outpouring of love and faith, such a giving spirit from so many.  Now that the election is over, I'm hoping this can be channeled into all of us working together for the betterment of our country as well.  Whatever your politics, let's keep strong the knowledge that we are ALL Americans first and foremost.

A few shout-outs:  to Jim (who turned 90 years old last week and doesn't appear to be a day over 60!); to Donna (who is fighting hard yet again to beat back the devil inside); to MJ and Jill and NYBlue for Pink (who are tireless in their devotion to eradicating the beast); to Alicia (who is proving to be an extraordinary mother as well as an amazing cousin); and to Caralyn (who appears to have a limitless supply of compassion for those both less fortunate AND more fortunate).

Blessings and Love to All!