Hi Everyone, Great news! DonnaLee is going home today. Warren is on his way in to pick her up now from NYU and she should be released from the hospital at about 1 p.m.
When I saw her on Wednesday night, she had said she was definitely ready to go home. Although she had been through a long week-plus in the hospital, I could see that her spirits were high and she was feeling good.
Of course, there is still more ahead. At the moment, she needs a walker and can only walk on the toes of the leg from which they took the bone to reconstruct her jaw, so she will need physical therapy. However, I'll have to say she was quite nimble at getting around with the walker. Unfortunately, she won't be able to wear her beloved high heels for a while.
Also, she will need to undergo radiation on the left side of her jaw to kill off any stray cancer cells the surgery did not get. That will happen once she's sufficiently healed from the surgery. I believe her oncologist said within the next 40 days.
But, I'm sure it must feel like a giant accomplishment to have made it through the surgery and the worst part of the recovery process. Home at last!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I'm a Survivor
Patty's update: I was excited last night to be able to visit DonnaLee at NYU. I didn't share the news in yesterday's blog post, because I wasn't sure how she felt about visitors and if others were welcome, too. I'm glad I didn't say anything, because DonnaLee isn't ready for a roomful of friends yet for a couple of reasons: 1) Just getting to NYU and finding parking is tough. 2) She doesn't want a lot of people to see her in her post-surgery state.
I can understand how she feels, because when I arrived, I was somewhat taken aback to see that the left side of her face where they reconstructed the jaw is quite swollen. I hadn't anticipated that, though in retrospect, I should have. But the doctors assure her the swelling will disappear in about a month, and that an incision running from the middle of her mouth, down her chin to her throat, will result in just a small scar.
The feeling of being surprised was soon taken over by feelings of relief, when I heard DonnaLee telling hospital tales in her inimitable style. She had thought she might have trouble speaking after the surgery, but that wasn't the case last night. Emily and her boyfriend, Joe, were there when I arrived and DonnaLee shared with us how she convinced her plastic surgeon and the two other surgeons overseeing her recovery to remove the feeding tube that had been causing her endless pain. Apparently, her plastic surgeon opposed this move, because he didn't think she'd be able to eat. But she emphatically pleaded her case and won out.
As a result of having the tube removed on Tuesday morning, DonnaLee feels her recovery has sped up. I arrived just a couple of hours after DonnaLee was moved from a post-op recovery room (with 24-hour, in-room nursing care) to a regular hospital room on the other side of the floor, because she was doing so well.
I also enjoyed the story of the doctors' followup visit after the tube was removed. The doctors and their entourage came in, looked down at her, and she croaked out in a hoarse whisper, "What have you done to my voice?" She said they looked at her aghast until she told them she was just having some fun with them.
After Emily and Joe left, DonnaLee and I took a walk and she showed me her two previous post-op recovery rooms. She also showed me some of the talisman that she brought with her to the hospital: a beautiful prayer shawl, hand-knit by the members of her church, and a little silver angel, given to her by a fellow Sunday school teacher.
Finally, there is a heartfelt drawing from Emily. It shows a before and after picture of DonnaLee, in a hospital bed and flexing her muscles in a yoga pose. Underneath, it reads "DonnaLee: Survivor."
More news to come . . . DonnaLee may be going home tomorrow.
I can understand how she feels, because when I arrived, I was somewhat taken aback to see that the left side of her face where they reconstructed the jaw is quite swollen. I hadn't anticipated that, though in retrospect, I should have. But the doctors assure her the swelling will disappear in about a month, and that an incision running from the middle of her mouth, down her chin to her throat, will result in just a small scar.
The feeling of being surprised was soon taken over by feelings of relief, when I heard DonnaLee telling hospital tales in her inimitable style. She had thought she might have trouble speaking after the surgery, but that wasn't the case last night. Emily and her boyfriend, Joe, were there when I arrived and DonnaLee shared with us how she convinced her plastic surgeon and the two other surgeons overseeing her recovery to remove the feeding tube that had been causing her endless pain. Apparently, her plastic surgeon opposed this move, because he didn't think she'd be able to eat. But she emphatically pleaded her case and won out.
As a result of having the tube removed on Tuesday morning, DonnaLee feels her recovery has sped up. I arrived just a couple of hours after DonnaLee was moved from a post-op recovery room (with 24-hour, in-room nursing care) to a regular hospital room on the other side of the floor, because she was doing so well.
I also enjoyed the story of the doctors' followup visit after the tube was removed. The doctors and their entourage came in, looked down at her, and she croaked out in a hoarse whisper, "What have you done to my voice?" She said they looked at her aghast until she told them she was just having some fun with them.
After Emily and Joe left, DonnaLee and I took a walk and she showed me her two previous post-op recovery rooms. She also showed me some of the talisman that she brought with her to the hospital: a beautiful prayer shawl, hand-knit by the members of her church, and a little silver angel, given to her by a fellow Sunday school teacher.
Finally, there is a heartfelt drawing from Emily. It shows a before and after picture of DonnaLee, in a hospital bed and flexing her muscles in a yoga pose. Underneath, it reads "DonnaLee: Survivor."
More news to come . . . DonnaLee may be going home tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
There's No Stopping Us Now
Patty's update: DonnaLee has continued to improve yesterday and today. She's still in post-op recovery, but her complaining neighbor was finally moved.
Now that the feeding tube is out, DonnaLee is able to eat again; yesterday, she started with soup and jello for lunch.
DonnaLee has started physical therapy, which is going well, albeit somewhat painful.
Today, the last surgery drain was removed and her heart monitor was disconnected. She was able to walk a couple hundred feet, and Warren commented, "Ain't no stoppin' her now!"
On a sad note, DonnaLee and Warren's friend and neighbor Mickey passed away on Monday night. Their prayers go out to his wife, Carol, their children and their neighbor Fred, who lost one of his dearest friends. DonnaLee was very sad to be in the hospital and unable to hug and comfort Carol.
Now that the feeding tube is out, DonnaLee is able to eat again; yesterday, she started with soup and jello for lunch.
DonnaLee has started physical therapy, which is going well, albeit somewhat painful.
Today, the last surgery drain was removed and her heart monitor was disconnected. She was able to walk a couple hundred feet, and Warren commented, "Ain't no stoppin' her now!"
On a sad note, DonnaLee and Warren's friend and neighbor Mickey passed away on Monday night. Their prayers go out to his wife, Carol, their children and their neighbor Fred, who lost one of his dearest friends. DonnaLee was very sad to be in the hospital and unable to hug and comfort Carol.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Something to Talk About
Patty's update: Today, they took the trach out and DonnaLee is talking! They also took the splint off her leg, which is where they took the bone from to reconstruct her jaw. Warren says she's not quite walking, but rather standing and hopping about. Tomorrow, DonnaLee will reach another milestone: They will take out the feeding tube and she will start on clear liquids.
It's been one full week that DonnaLee has been in the hospital, and the end of her stay is getting closer. The doctors have told DonnaLee and Warren that she should be home by the weekend.
It's been one full week that DonnaLee has been in the hospital, and the end of her stay is getting closer. The doctors have told DonnaLee and Warren that she should be home by the weekend.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Feelin' Stronger Every Day
Patty's update: Warren reported that DonnaLee is looking good today, seems to be feeling better in every way. DonnaLee's brother, Bruce, and her stepdad, Ken, visited this morning. DonnaLee's been moved to a different recovery room, and she has the best spot in the room -- which Warren attributes to her being such a good patient. Still no word on when she can have visitors besides family.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
All the Music Sees Me Through
Patty's Update: It's Saturday and DonnaLee is still in post-op recovery, doing a little better today, with the exception that she has a roommate who is a complainer. Warren bought her noise-cancelling headphones for her iPod, so she wouldn't hear her neighbor's whining. He said she looks so happy "singing" along with her iPod that it could be a commercial.
He wrote a funny text message about the situation: Surgery, $200,000..$3,000 a night...IPod, $300, your favorite music on, complainer canceling out music...priceless.
Only family is still allowed to visit. Her brother, Bruce, came for his first visit today, because he has had a cold this past week. Warren said the visit did both of them good. Taryn and Ian came in on their own from LI.
Warren was on his way home at about 9:30. At the end of the day, DonnaLee was feeling frustrated, because she feels time crawling by right now.
In case anyone doesn't have DonnaLee's home address and would like to send a card, it is: 226 Lou Avenue, Kings Park, NY 11754. Warren is bringing in cards to her each day.
He wrote a funny text message about the situation: Surgery, $200,000..$3,000 a night...IPod, $300, your favorite music on, complainer canceling out music...priceless.
Only family is still allowed to visit. Her brother, Bruce, came for his first visit today, because he has had a cold this past week. Warren said the visit did both of them good. Taryn and Ian came in on their own from LI.
Warren was on his way home at about 9:30. At the end of the day, DonnaLee was feeling frustrated, because she feels time crawling by right now.
In case anyone doesn't have DonnaLee's home address and would like to send a card, it is: 226 Lou Avenue, Kings Park, NY 11754. Warren is bringing in cards to her each day.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Good to See You
Today's update, from Patty: DonnaLee hasn't had to use her pain button today for the morphine, so her recovery continues to progress on track.
Ian and Taryn came to visit this morning. They hadn't seen DonnaLee since right after her surgery, which was tough. So it cheered them up to see her looking alert when they arrived. Emily stopped by between classes. Warren commented that he and DonnaLee are blessed to have such great children -- and I think we all agree!
DonnaLee is still in post-op recovery, so her visitors are limited to family.
Ian and Taryn came to visit this morning. They hadn't seen DonnaLee since right after her surgery, which was tough. So it cheered them up to see her looking alert when they arrived. Emily stopped by between classes. Warren commented that he and DonnaLee are blessed to have such great children -- and I think we all agree!
DonnaLee is still in post-op recovery, so her visitors are limited to family.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The Beat Goes On
It's Patty again, with today's update: DonnaLee continues to improve nicely and the doctors are pleased with her progress. She is in post-op recovery and Warren says she has her own morphine button, so she's able to rest better. The doctors got her out of bed today, and she sat in a chair for awhile.
Though her recovery is going well, she is, of course, hurting. She will spend at least two days in post-op recovery before she moves into her own room. At that time, she may be up to having visitors. Until then, you can send cards to the house and Warren will bring them to her.
Warren is spending most of his time going back and forth to the hospital, and trying to fit in some work. He wanted me to let everyone know that he is doing well and trying to take care of himself, so he doesn't wear himself out before DonnaLee comes home.
Though her recovery is going well, she is, of course, hurting. She will spend at least two days in post-op recovery before she moves into her own room. At that time, she may be up to having visitors. Until then, you can send cards to the house and Warren will bring them to her.
Warren is spending most of his time going back and forth to the hospital, and trying to fit in some work. He wanted me to let everyone know that he is doing well and trying to take care of himself, so he doesn't wear himself out before DonnaLee comes home.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Feeling Better Now that We're Through
Hi All,
It's Patty with more news on DonnaLee's post-surgery recovery. I had written earlier that Warren sent a text message @ 10:30 a.m. saying that he was at DonnaLee's bedside and she had given him the thumbs-up sign. Gotta love her spirit!
I was mistaken when I wrote yesterday that she was going to recovery and then ICU. I was jotting down lots of details when I talked to Warren and this part obviously got lost in translation. Warren sent a text message this evening saying that DonnaLee went from surgery to ICU. She had been expected to be there possibly through tomorrow and then to move to post-op recovery.
But she is already in post-op recovery, so she's doing as well or better than expected. Next, she'll move to her own room and that may happen tomorrow.
It's Patty with more news on DonnaLee's post-surgery recovery. I had written earlier that Warren sent a text message @ 10:30 a.m. saying that he was at DonnaLee's bedside and she had given him the thumbs-up sign. Gotta love her spirit!
I was mistaken when I wrote yesterday that she was going to recovery and then ICU. I was jotting down lots of details when I talked to Warren and this part obviously got lost in translation. Warren sent a text message this evening saying that DonnaLee went from surgery to ICU. She had been expected to be there possibly through tomorrow and then to move to post-op recovery.
But she is already in post-op recovery, so she's doing as well or better than expected. Next, she'll move to her own room and that may happen tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Walking on Sunshine
Hi Everyone,
It's Patty again, with good news. Warren called just before 6 p.m. to say that DonnaLee is now out of surgery and everything went extremely well!
Literally just as Warren, Taryn and Ian had returned to the hospital's waiting room, DonnaLee's three surgeons came in to tell them that the surgery was finished and that it had been "picture perfect." The surgeons are confident that they got the tumor. Some microscopic cancer cells may remain, but she will undergo radiation to take care of them, which DonnaLee and Warren had expected.
DonnaLee is now on her way to recovery and Warren, Taryn and Ian will get to see her at about 6:30 for a few minutes, though she won't be conscious. After that, they'll head home for the night. The surgeons said DonnaLee will start to wake around 6 a.m. tomorrow, but she won't really be conscious until about 8 a.m. or so. She will most likely be in intensive care until Thursday. On Thursday, they expect to move her to a room.
I will post another update tomorrow.
I'm sure we'll all rest easier tonight knowing DonnaLee is now on the road to recovery.
Sweet dreams.
It's Patty again, with good news. Warren called just before 6 p.m. to say that DonnaLee is now out of surgery and everything went extremely well!
Literally just as Warren, Taryn and Ian had returned to the hospital's waiting room, DonnaLee's three surgeons came in to tell them that the surgery was finished and that it had been "picture perfect." The surgeons are confident that they got the tumor. Some microscopic cancer cells may remain, but she will undergo radiation to take care of them, which DonnaLee and Warren had expected.
DonnaLee is now on her way to recovery and Warren, Taryn and Ian will get to see her at about 6:30 for a few minutes, though she won't be conscious. After that, they'll head home for the night. The surgeons said DonnaLee will start to wake around 6 a.m. tomorrow, but she won't really be conscious until about 8 a.m. or so. She will most likely be in intensive care until Thursday. On Thursday, they expect to move her to a room.
I will post another update tomorrow.
I'm sure we'll all rest easier tonight knowing DonnaLee is now on the road to recovery.
Sweet dreams.
The Waiting Is the Hardest Part
Hi Everyone,
This is DonnaLee's friend Patty Maloney. It's almost 4:30 p.m. now and DonnaLee has been in surgery since somewhere between 8-9 a.m. I spoke to Warren a little before 4 p.m. and he wanted me to let everyone know that the surgery won't be over until at least 6 p.m., and it could be 10 p.m. before it's finished. The surgeons said this type of surgery generally takes 10-12 hours, but that it could take 14 hours and that is normal and nothing to worry about.
DonnaLee, Warren and Taryn woke at 4 a.m. this morning to reach NYU by 6 a.m. Warren and Taryn left DonnaLee at about 8 a.m. as she was being taken to surgery, which was going to start within the hour. So began the long wait for Warren and Taryn . . . and all of DonnaLee's family and friends who are anxiously awaiting good news.
On a side note, Ian wasn't able to go to the hospital with them because he just returned yesterday afternoon from California and wasn't feeling well. He and Emily had been out visiting their Grandma Jane (their mom's mother) who was very ill and she died while they were there. Our thoughts go out to both Ian and Emily who have been given a lot to deal with right now.
Warren and Taryn took a nap this afternoon at their friends Mark and Cindy's apartment. Mark and Cindy, Warren wanted me to tell you he was grateful to you for lending your apartment to them! They were going to pick Ian up a little after 4 p.m. at Penn Station and then get a bite to eat.
There's a chance Warren will get an update at some point during the surgery. But again, the surgeons cautioned them if that didn't happen, that they should not get scared.
Of course, I'm sure they are both a bit nervous and dealing with lots of emotions as well as logistics. I had spoken to Warren briefly this morning a little after 8 a.m. and when he called back, he had forgotten that we had actually talked.
I called DonnaLee yesterday afternoon -- and she was at work, sounding remarkably calm! She was wrapping up some final details and then heading to the airport to pick up Emily and Ian.
I have always marveled at how DonnaLee faces each challenge presented to her with a combination of grace and grit. I know she is in all of our thoughts right now. I have great faith in her ability to overcome this latest recurrence and recover, though I know the weeks ahead won't be easy.
DonnaLee's positive attitude has always been an inspiration to all of us. I'm sure your thoughts and prayers are with her now, as are mine. As soon as I hear from Warren when the surgery is over, I will send out an update.
We love you DonnaLee!
This is DonnaLee's friend Patty Maloney. It's almost 4:30 p.m. now and DonnaLee has been in surgery since somewhere between 8-9 a.m. I spoke to Warren a little before 4 p.m. and he wanted me to let everyone know that the surgery won't be over until at least 6 p.m., and it could be 10 p.m. before it's finished. The surgeons said this type of surgery generally takes 10-12 hours, but that it could take 14 hours and that is normal and nothing to worry about.
DonnaLee, Warren and Taryn woke at 4 a.m. this morning to reach NYU by 6 a.m. Warren and Taryn left DonnaLee at about 8 a.m. as she was being taken to surgery, which was going to start within the hour. So began the long wait for Warren and Taryn . . . and all of DonnaLee's family and friends who are anxiously awaiting good news.
On a side note, Ian wasn't able to go to the hospital with them because he just returned yesterday afternoon from California and wasn't feeling well. He and Emily had been out visiting their Grandma Jane (their mom's mother) who was very ill and she died while they were there. Our thoughts go out to both Ian and Emily who have been given a lot to deal with right now.
Warren and Taryn took a nap this afternoon at their friends Mark and Cindy's apartment. Mark and Cindy, Warren wanted me to tell you he was grateful to you for lending your apartment to them! They were going to pick Ian up a little after 4 p.m. at Penn Station and then get a bite to eat.
There's a chance Warren will get an update at some point during the surgery. But again, the surgeons cautioned them if that didn't happen, that they should not get scared.
Of course, I'm sure they are both a bit nervous and dealing with lots of emotions as well as logistics. I had spoken to Warren briefly this morning a little after 8 a.m. and when he called back, he had forgotten that we had actually talked.
I called DonnaLee yesterday afternoon -- and she was at work, sounding remarkably calm! She was wrapping up some final details and then heading to the airport to pick up Emily and Ian.
I have always marveled at how DonnaLee faces each challenge presented to her with a combination of grace and grit. I know she is in all of our thoughts right now. I have great faith in her ability to overcome this latest recurrence and recover, though I know the weeks ahead won't be easy.
DonnaLee's positive attitude has always been an inspiration to all of us. I'm sure your thoughts and prayers are with her now, as are mine. As soon as I hear from Warren when the surgery is over, I will send out an update.
We love you DonnaLee!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ooh Ahh...Just A Little Bit
Look, my hair's starting to grow in! I know, I know - it doesn't look like much. But even a little bit goes a long way when you've spent 3 months with a bald head.
Today was a pretty awesome day, beginning with a healing and anointing service at church. The congregation, along with our wonderful pastors, surprised me with a beautiful Prayer Shawl made by the women involved in the Ministry. I've been getting well-wishing phone calls all day and many offers of help for me and my family while I'm in the hospital (don't worry, I'm not afraid to ask if we need something). And of course, the Daytona 500 took place today (rain shortened but no less exciting).
Most people have been asking me if I'm nervous yet. I don't seem to be generally, although I do have some moments when the magnitude of the surgery hits me, usually during some innocuous moment, like when I'm brushing my teeth (ooh, hey...I guess I won't be doing that for a couple of days. Ick!). But it passes quickly, only causing the smallest bit of agitation. I choose instead to focus on the good that will come of this surgery - the cancer removed and the opportunity to enjoy more years of good health. That and unlimited chocolate milkshakes!
The laundry is done. The bills are paid. Birthday cards are signed and ready for mailing. Sunday school lessons are prepared. Groceries are ordered. My iPod is charged. The DVR is set to record my favorite shows (and I'm hoping to catch the Oscars live whether I'm still in the hospital or not). I'm organized at work and at home and I'm ready for this. I'm ready. I'm nervous (just a little bit)...but I'm ready.
While I am out/incapacitated, this blog will be updated by my good friend Patty Maloney, who has generously agreed to keep you all posted on my progress. I feel surrounded by and supported with so many good wishes and prayers and I can't imagine any better way to go into this than that. You are all wonderful and magical and generous and amazing and I am a better person for having all of you in my life.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
All You Need Is Love
It's Valentine's Day - can you feel the love all around you? I can!
Three days until surgery. Why am I so "zen" about this? Or...maybe I'm not (I am, after all, writing in my blog again, which we all know is partly my therapy). But I do feel pretty calm and my blood pressure (taken yet again this week) is absolutely normal. I'm not screaming at my husband or children. I'm not frustrated by work pressures (and believe me, there are many). I'm not even bemoaning the lack of a clean house (OK, well the cleaning people did come this week so that's not an issue). I do wish I'd been able to make it to yoga this week, but even so I continue to practice my "yoga off the mat" as Leslie and Sumati have taught me. I'm in a good place.
I didn't even get crazy when NYU hospital called me to tell me that my insurance company approved my stay (for 5 days, LOVE the insurance desk jockeys who consult a chart instead of a surgeon on these things) and advised me to bring my balance payment with me to the hospital on Tuesday because their policy is PAY IN ADVANCE. I admit it - I was flabbergasted. Not so much because of the amount (it's not insignificant but I do have pretty good insurance and a Flexible Spending Account), but because I had never, in 14 years of dealing with hospitals, had one tell me I needed to pay up front. I actually asked the woman who called (some office administrator I'm sure) what happens to people who don't pay - do they just cancel the surgery and the person dies? She actually started negotiating with me ("You can bring half if you want, but you have to bring at least half" "You can use a credit card") - cool as a cucumber, she didn't bother to respond to my disbelief, instead repeating the policy each time I voiced my incredulousness. I have to leave my jewelry and my valuables at home, but by God, I better have that check! And this folks, is why poor people have a higher mortality rate than those better off - believe me, I am intimidated by the prospect of pre-pay so I can't imagine that someone without means wouldn't just walk away and hope that their condition doesn't get worse while they are saving up for that needed surgery. I think I'll suggest an on-site pawn shop while I'm there - old gold might fetch some good money these days!
My hair is slowly starting to grow in again. I don't detect any curls, but there does seem to be a smattering of grey. And the growth does lead to what I have dubbed "Wig Wiggle" as the cap is no longer snug against my formerly smooth scalp. On Girls Night Out (last Tuesday) I threw my head back and laughed at something Elisa said, resulting in a backwards slip of the wig nearly off my head. I quickly recovered, pulled it back on, furtively looked around the restaurant to see who might have observed this (ummm...everyone! Kidding, we always think everyone is looking at us, but really they couldn't care less). Jackie and Patty, deep in conversation, didn't even notice although Mary mentioned that she didn't think she'd ever seen me embarrassed before that night. I believe she may be right! Even worse was the next night when, after a long day working on a project, my Engineers (2 wonderful gentlemen named Luis and Alex) and I were packing up to head home. Realizing that they might not see me again until after my surgery, Alex came over to give me a hug good-bye and to wish me good luck. Well, poor guy, his hand got tangled in the wig and as he pulled away off it came. You never saw more horrified looks than the ones on Luis and Alex's faces, particularly Alex who looked as though he were holding a dead skunk. I grabbed the hairpiece, slapped it back on and began laughing hysterically until Luis and Alex were compelled to join in. We ended a long day with a giggle and needless to say, I got my office staff to call Alex the next day to tell him that they heard he was trying to steal my wig. Gotta have some fun with this!
News bites: Ian got his first college acceptance (to my alma mater, Stony Brook); Taryn got into her top choice college (University of Maryland); Emily and Ian are in California visiting their very sick Grandma Jane (sending prayers their way and Jane's way); Warren continues to work 7 days a week to try and catch up (I think he may need hugs more than I do); and the Daytona 500 is tomorrow. Go #14!
I am so touched and so thankful for the outpouring of love these last couple of weeks. Phone calls, notes, e-mails, blog comments, messages, hugs, little gifts, and most of all (and most importantly) prayers - all have served to help me go into the surgery confident of a quick and total recovery and to remind me that truly, love is all we need.
Three days until surgery. Why am I so "zen" about this? Or...maybe I'm not (I am, after all, writing in my blog again, which we all know is partly my therapy). But I do feel pretty calm and my blood pressure (taken yet again this week) is absolutely normal. I'm not screaming at my husband or children. I'm not frustrated by work pressures (and believe me, there are many). I'm not even bemoaning the lack of a clean house (OK, well the cleaning people did come this week so that's not an issue). I do wish I'd been able to make it to yoga this week, but even so I continue to practice my "yoga off the mat" as Leslie and Sumati have taught me. I'm in a good place.
I didn't even get crazy when NYU hospital called me to tell me that my insurance company approved my stay (for 5 days, LOVE the insurance desk jockeys who consult a chart instead of a surgeon on these things) and advised me to bring my balance payment with me to the hospital on Tuesday because their policy is PAY IN ADVANCE. I admit it - I was flabbergasted. Not so much because of the amount (it's not insignificant but I do have pretty good insurance and a Flexible Spending Account), but because I had never, in 14 years of dealing with hospitals, had one tell me I needed to pay up front. I actually asked the woman who called (some office administrator I'm sure) what happens to people who don't pay - do they just cancel the surgery and the person dies? She actually started negotiating with me ("You can bring half if you want, but you have to bring at least half" "You can use a credit card") - cool as a cucumber, she didn't bother to respond to my disbelief, instead repeating the policy each time I voiced my incredulousness. I have to leave my jewelry and my valuables at home, but by God, I better have that check! And this folks, is why poor people have a higher mortality rate than those better off - believe me, I am intimidated by the prospect of pre-pay so I can't imagine that someone without means wouldn't just walk away and hope that their condition doesn't get worse while they are saving up for that needed surgery. I think I'll suggest an on-site pawn shop while I'm there - old gold might fetch some good money these days!
My hair is slowly starting to grow in again. I don't detect any curls, but there does seem to be a smattering of grey. And the growth does lead to what I have dubbed "Wig Wiggle" as the cap is no longer snug against my formerly smooth scalp. On Girls Night Out (last Tuesday) I threw my head back and laughed at something Elisa said, resulting in a backwards slip of the wig nearly off my head. I quickly recovered, pulled it back on, furtively looked around the restaurant to see who might have observed this (ummm...everyone! Kidding, we always think everyone is looking at us, but really they couldn't care less). Jackie and Patty, deep in conversation, didn't even notice although Mary mentioned that she didn't think she'd ever seen me embarrassed before that night. I believe she may be right! Even worse was the next night when, after a long day working on a project, my Engineers (2 wonderful gentlemen named Luis and Alex) and I were packing up to head home. Realizing that they might not see me again until after my surgery, Alex came over to give me a hug good-bye and to wish me good luck. Well, poor guy, his hand got tangled in the wig and as he pulled away off it came. You never saw more horrified looks than the ones on Luis and Alex's faces, particularly Alex who looked as though he were holding a dead skunk. I grabbed the hairpiece, slapped it back on and began laughing hysterically until Luis and Alex were compelled to join in. We ended a long day with a giggle and needless to say, I got my office staff to call Alex the next day to tell him that they heard he was trying to steal my wig. Gotta have some fun with this!
News bites: Ian got his first college acceptance (to my alma mater, Stony Brook); Taryn got into her top choice college (University of Maryland); Emily and Ian are in California visiting their very sick Grandma Jane (sending prayers their way and Jane's way); Warren continues to work 7 days a week to try and catch up (I think he may need hugs more than I do); and the Daytona 500 is tomorrow. Go #14!
I am so touched and so thankful for the outpouring of love these last couple of weeks. Phone calls, notes, e-mails, blog comments, messages, hugs, little gifts, and most of all (and most importantly) prayers - all have served to help me go into the surgery confident of a quick and total recovery and to remind me that truly, love is all we need.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Tuesday Afternoon
A date has been set. The notifications have begun. The preparations have started. Eleven days left before I rid my body of this latest devilish intruder.
After much debate, shuffling of schedules and numerous phone calls my surgeons settled on Tuesday, February 17th as the date for my surgery. As it is a seriously long surgery (10-12 hours) I am assuming that I will have to get into NYU pretty early, but I don't have a definite time yet. I did go in today for my pre-surgical testing (just blood work, medical history and EKG) and to meet with the anesthesiologist, who wrinkled her nose at my dark nail polish and suggested I come in with a french manicure (ha! little does she know what Maz has planned for me for Valentine's Day!). On Monday, I go to visit yet another doctor (how am I going to keep these bills straight?) in order to obtain medical clearance, which, quite frankly, if they don't know by now that I am extraordinarily healthy (well, you know, except for this whole cancer thing), then shame on them! But, I trudge from doctor to doctor as I am instructed, smiling and joking and filling out forms with the same information over and over again. I tell my story from the beginning ("In November of 1994, I found a lump in my breast...") trying not to leave out important details (like the time I forgot to mention my cranial biopsy - thank goodness Warren was there to remind me).
It appears that I will have a small entourage accompanying me to the hospital - Warren; my brother Bruce; and Taryn, who is fiercely determined to be there with me despite my efforts to convince her otherwise. I have (half) jokingly told all of them that they should work on Tuesday - it's not like they are likely to get to see me until Wednesday. They shoot me down on that right away and I then suggest bringing Travel Yahtzee so they can at least enjoy the wait. They are not really in joking moods. I begin to realize how scary it is for them. And underneath it all, I am grateful that each one of them will be there.
I have lists. Just in case. A list of things to take care of. A list of things to give away. A list of passwords. Instructions for this, suggestions for that. I remember visiting my mom in the hospital, when we knew she was sick, but before she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She showed me her lists and I teased her about Bruce getting her truck when she knew perfectly well that Chris wanted it. There is still a list on my stepfather's refrigerator, 3 1/2 years later, stating exactly when certain bills should be paid. (Seeing her handwriting is oddly comforting.) I'm not particularly nervous or afraid or apprehensive, although being under anesthesia for that long gives me some pause, but I am a planner and I just can't do this without trying to make it easier for my family. Just in case.
I am perpetually reminded of how great life is - Taryn got into her top choice for college (University of Maryland); Jodi sent me a "BandanaGram" (who knew they even existed?); June and Ginny from APLC virtually hopped up and down with happiness to see me at church; and best of all - Girls' Night Out is Tuesday the 10th. One last hurrah (and a big juicy steak) before taking the surgical plunge. Martini's for everyone!
After much debate, shuffling of schedules and numerous phone calls my surgeons settled on Tuesday, February 17th as the date for my surgery. As it is a seriously long surgery (10-12 hours) I am assuming that I will have to get into NYU pretty early, but I don't have a definite time yet. I did go in today for my pre-surgical testing (just blood work, medical history and EKG) and to meet with the anesthesiologist, who wrinkled her nose at my dark nail polish and suggested I come in with a french manicure (ha! little does she know what Maz has planned for me for Valentine's Day!). On Monday, I go to visit yet another doctor (how am I going to keep these bills straight?) in order to obtain medical clearance, which, quite frankly, if they don't know by now that I am extraordinarily healthy (well, you know, except for this whole cancer thing), then shame on them! But, I trudge from doctor to doctor as I am instructed, smiling and joking and filling out forms with the same information over and over again. I tell my story from the beginning ("In November of 1994, I found a lump in my breast...") trying not to leave out important details (like the time I forgot to mention my cranial biopsy - thank goodness Warren was there to remind me).
It appears that I will have a small entourage accompanying me to the hospital - Warren; my brother Bruce; and Taryn, who is fiercely determined to be there with me despite my efforts to convince her otherwise. I have (half) jokingly told all of them that they should work on Tuesday - it's not like they are likely to get to see me until Wednesday. They shoot me down on that right away and I then suggest bringing Travel Yahtzee so they can at least enjoy the wait. They are not really in joking moods. I begin to realize how scary it is for them. And underneath it all, I am grateful that each one of them will be there.
I have lists. Just in case. A list of things to take care of. A list of things to give away. A list of passwords. Instructions for this, suggestions for that. I remember visiting my mom in the hospital, when we knew she was sick, but before she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She showed me her lists and I teased her about Bruce getting her truck when she knew perfectly well that Chris wanted it. There is still a list on my stepfather's refrigerator, 3 1/2 years later, stating exactly when certain bills should be paid. (Seeing her handwriting is oddly comforting.) I'm not particularly nervous or afraid or apprehensive, although being under anesthesia for that long gives me some pause, but I am a planner and I just can't do this without trying to make it easier for my family. Just in case.
I am perpetually reminded of how great life is - Taryn got into her top choice for college (University of Maryland); Jodi sent me a "BandanaGram" (who knew they even existed?); June and Ginny from APLC virtually hopped up and down with happiness to see me at church; and best of all - Girls' Night Out is Tuesday the 10th. One last hurrah (and a big juicy steak) before taking the surgical plunge. Martini's for everyone!
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