Crush With Eyeliner

I figure by now you all must be ready to handle the dome, so here it is. Admit it, that's a NICE head (and it's not even airbrushed!).

The time has come to put down the mascara wand and step slowly away from the make-up table. My eyelashes have just about completed their exodus, such that using mascara results in a weird kind of "Clockwork Orange" look (and here I thought "volume building" mascara could make 3 lashes look like 300). The Clinique employees are all crying, they know that without me purchasing mascara there will be no bonuses this year.

In many ways, no eyelashes is worse than no hair (and not just because I can't wear mascara). It's harder to put in my contacts - those of you that wear them, think about how you put them in. There's nothing to protect your eyes from sunlight and dust and gunk - plus, they get all rheumy, especially overnight. And let's not even go into the whole looking like an alien thing. False eyelashes you say? Not for me, I don't have the patience to put them on correctly. So, I pile on the eyeliner and eyeshadow instead (hey, maybe those Clinique employees have some hope after all) and thank God I don't need to bat my eyelashes at anyone!

It's almost New Year's Eve - what is your New Year's resolution going to be?