Sweet Mary

Twenty years ago (what?!), Mary was my Lamaze coach when I was pregnant with Taryn. On the night I went into labor (11 days early), she was on a date (and it may have been a first date) attending a New York Knicks basketball game at Madison Square Garden. Already in the throes of labor; and having been given the news that my mother was not available to help as she had been hospitalized for dizziness earlier in the day; AND getting little to no real assistance from my other coach, Janet (recently returned from a Florida vacation and in no condition to remember any of the Lamaze teachings); AND having alienated my brother by screaming at him “Why didn’t you tell me about Mommy?!” (he stuck around my apartment anyhow, just quietly and as unobtrusively as possible); AND being exhausted from working a full day followed by pacing back and forth for a few hours as contractions came and went; I finally beeped Mary (I know – “BEEPED” – can you imagine?) to let her know she was needed. And fast.


She was an unbelievable model of efficiency once she arrived at my apartment – timing contractions, calling the doctor, arranging the transportation to the hospital, guiding me through the breathing exercises (“Blow out the candle. Blow out the candle.”), and finally joining me in the delivery room at 2:21 in the morning for Taryn’s birth. (Note to readers: Try to avoid having a single, childless person as your birth coach. After observing my antics and sometimes-over-the-top histrionics, I am surprised Mary still chose to go ahead and have Cecelia and Alana. Glad she did – but still surprised.) She was the first person I told about my pregnancy and the first person (besides me of course) to hold Taryn.


I am to this day profoundly in awe of her calm handling of this momentous event, which kind of set the stage for the next 20 years, as Mary stepped up again and again over those years to provide sage advice, stalwart friendship and soothing compassion. I could fill several blog pages with examples of her kindness, not only to me but to family, friends, and strangers - but all of you probably know this, and have your own stories of Mary’s positive impact on your lives. And it continues – she recently took 3 hours out of her night (a school night for the kids, you know what that means – she had plenty of other things to do!) to offer me a needed sounding board, a few laughs, some wise words (all right MANY wise words) and an update on all things Mary (which I confess I don’t ask for often enough!). As always, I left feeling extremely grateful to have such a special person in my life – after all, who else but Mary could have insistently, patiently pressed forward to insure that Galaganza took place?


Throughout the years that I have known Mary, one thought has consistently come to mind when I think about her – being friends with her makes me a better person AND... makes me want to be an even better person than that. I am filled with admiration for her intelligence, her loyalty, her compassion, her achievements, her determination, her equanimity, her pragmatism, her thoughtfulness, her patience, her humor, and her seemingly endless generosity. I’m glad she’s on my side, and I’m equally glad that she will call me on it if I am wrong (yes, yes, it does happen on occasion). She has been tolerant of my flaws and a champion of my strengths. She has dealt with her own adversities with courage and resolve. She is a wonderful mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, co-worker, etc. She has made more people smile than I could ever possibly count. Mary is simply - a pretty awesome human being.


Blessings and Love to All.