The Warrior

And once again, I have kicked cancer's ass - at least for the time being.

I went to see my oncologist today and was rewarded with the news that my latest PET/CT scan came back with no evidence of disease. I must admit, waiting for her to enter the exam room is nerve-wracking. Numerous iterations of "Bad news - it's back" tumble around in my mind while I'm waiting for her to come in, my blood pressure shoots way above normal, and her nurse gives absolutely no clues as to what the report contains. She's a crafty one too (the nurse), did not take the bait when I mentioned that my oral surgeon was prepared to do the dental implants "once I get a clean scan" and I KNOW she knows because her name is at the bottom of the written reports each time I get my copy since she prints them out for the doctor. She merely smiled and said "Sounds like a plan! Dr. Lu will be in shortly!" So I wait, and the doctor comes in and breezily announces that everything looks great on the PET, hands me a copy of the report for my own records, gets done with the exam (I remind her that I need blood work done next time) and says see you in 3 months. The battle is won - the war continues.

Taryn turned 19 last week - another birthday that, at points in my life, I didn't think I'd get to see. So I am thankful and tearful and joyful and grateful. Oh yeah - and broke. That kid has a pretty big birthday wish list (and we all now how hard it is for me to say no to my princess).

Friday night my yoga instructor read us an article she found particularly inspiring, about taking time to share the good things we find in life with others. And one phrase she read really struck me. I don't fully remember the context (spending time afterwards in Downward-facing Dog and Peaceful Warrior robbed me of some of the memory of what she read) , but the description was of "a love affair with life" and it perfectly captures how I feel (most of the time at least). I contemplate this gift of life often (probably more often than is healthy truth be told) and am awed by how much I truly do just love to breathe. In and out and in and out (OK right I know there's no other real way to breathe, probably didn't need to offer up a description) and I'm not talking about the things I like to do or see or feel or taste in life - it is life itself that makes me giddy and I suppose it's why that phrase spoke to me as it did. A love affair with life. Hey, at least it won't cheat on me (yeah, I'm talking to you Jesse James!)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter (or Passover). Spring weather is rapidly approaching (as well as, ahem, a certain bloggers birthday).

Blessings and Love to All.