Takin' Care of Business

I am happy to report that as of Monday I am back to work! (OK is it pathetic that I'm so excited about that?)

I still have a long way to go recovery-wise, but my doctors all agreed that (with certain restrictions) I could go back to work full-time. Believe it or not, despite having been away for a little over a month, it felt very natural driving up to the Bronx and going into my office (well, except for the fact that I didn't have my bagel and tea while driving up there - that was kind of a bummer). No one stole my parking space; my office door still had my name on it; my ID badge still afforded me access to the terminal - I guess they're going to let me stay! My co-workers were wonderfully welcoming - they all greeted me at the front door, decorated my office with "Welcome Back" signs, and sent flowers (including irises, my favorite). So a very special shout out to Thea, Sheryl, Sandra, Ling, Gary, John, and Scott for making my first day back a great one.

This has been one of the weirder weeks of my life. Thursday I found out that one of my dear friends (who would like to remain nameless) had been in the hospital for several weeks (no one wanted to tell me because I was still recovering from the surgery). Then my stepdad called me Friday to tell me that HE had been in the hospital the last 2 weeks after falling off a ladder and breaking 4 ribs and his ankle in 2 places (again, he didn't want to bother me while I was just out of the hospital). And today I had to take Taryn to see her orthopedist because she has hurt her knee again (the one she had ACL surgery on) - she's on crutches for now and we're trying to get an MRI scheduled. Guess I'm the healthy one of the bunch.

I did get to have some fun this weekend though. My brother's birthday was Saturday, so Friday night he had a bunch of friends and family meet at a local bar he usually hangs out at. Warren and I went down to join the festivities and I treated myself to a nice, cold Bud Light (which I nursed like a sissy drinker but enjoyed nevertheless). I even "danced" - the owner asked me if I had any requests for the jukebox, so I had him play "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC and when it started I got up with my sister to shimmy around on my bad leg (yeah, I looked like Elaine on "Seinfeld" - maybe worse if that's possible). Yep, I paid for that poor decision the next day!

Today I saw my oncologist for the first time since January, for a regular check-up and to get started on a new hormone therapy (yeah, thanks for that big needle in my butt!). It is interesting that even the most benign (no pun intended) visit with the oncologist causes me to feel fearful and anxious, even when I know there is no bad news to be given (indeed, my blood pressure is always higher in her office than in any other setting, including when I was in the hospital or about to receive chemotherapy). I suppose it is somehow a recognition that when the bad news does come (as it inevitably will given the nature of my illness), it will come from her. No matter what - even on days like today when there truly is nothing negative that comes out of the visit - I leave there struggling to hold on to the positive outlook that I've carefully cultivated over the past 14 1/2 years of dealing with cancer.

Luckily, the Hershey's ice cream that MJ, Abby and AJ brought me tonight will more than likely bring that happiness and optimism right back. Time to take care of THAT business!