So, I'm in Ulta Saturday, picking up hair spray for Taryn because she keeps going in and stealing mine. And I figure - well, she's been using it every day, I really should get another can because I don't want to run out. I pick up the large can of Shaper ("30% More Free!"), turn to leave - and start laughing because...it's the exact same thing I did 4 years ago, a week before I lost all my hair. This time, luckily, I caught myself before I spent the money!
The hair, it's a funny thing. It's "THE HAIR." So much time and energy is spent dealing with something that has little to no bearing on your physical healing, yet everything to do with emotional healing. Will I lose my hair? When will I lose my hair? When will it grow back? Should I get a wig? And even though I've been through this before, and know some of the answers already, it is no less an issue because it's "THE HAIR." See, I had just gotten to a point where my hair was the length and cut that I wanted in order to grow it out a little more - could this cruel twist of fate be any funnier? Now instead of debating whether to go back to my original golden blond color, I'm left with thinking, "Will it grow back curly again?" "Will it come in even darker...or (gasp) gray?" and "Am I still a cute bald chick?!"
THE HAIR is still hanging in there for now, but it doesn't have long. I've got the tingly, "hair feels as though it's floating on top of my scalp instead of being attached to it" feeling. And while I look forward to all the money to be saved on hair care and styling products (savings best used for shoes I would argue!); while I confess that yes, there is something quite nice about running my hands over a smooth pate; and while 15 minutes of extra sleep because I don't have to blow dry and not having to shave my legs are bonuses worth bragging about, I must admit - I am sad to lose it, sad to be confronted with stark evidence of my illness, sad to have to think about starting all over again with growing it out. Not crazy sad (after all, I already know I AM damn good-looking bald), just (sigh) sad.
Start dusting off your bald jokes and nicknames - I'm counting on all of you to keep me laughing once THE HAIR makes its escape!
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JUST IN CASE YOU ARE STUCK FOR GIFT IDEAS THIS YEAR, MY MOM IS BUYING THOSE CHRISTMAS BALLS YOU CAN STUFF THINGS IN AND FILLING THEM WITH HER HAIR AND GIVING THEM AS GIFTS THIS YEAR. I MIGHT HAVE TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY BUT I FIGURE IN LIGHT OF YOUR POST IT MIGHT BE WORTH REPEATING.:)
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